Transformers: The Last Knight

"We're doing this again?"

"But why, I thought everyone hated the last one?"

"Lots of money?"

"Nicola Peltz?"

"Alright."

TRANSFORMERS...is a franchise...that's now five movies strong. What else has five movies? Fast and the Furious? Star Wars? Yeah...frankly I don't even know what to say anymore.

There's a plot involved, Cybertron needs to be rebuilt for the fourth time, also...the government is evil...I think? Idk. Knights of the Round Table or something.

Fuck, guys, I don't know how else to put it. I tried warming up to this, but it just flat out sucks, it flat out sucks! The plot is incoherent as hell, it follows one point for a while, then switches to something else, and then I got confused and frankly bored by the time the second hour came around. The editing is shitty, in classic Michael Bay format, but it's worse this time around, because they implement this switch of aspect ratios constantly. One minute it's full screen, the next it's wide screen? It's fucking infuriating.

I suppose the acting's okay, you can tell they tried to fix the issues from Age of Extinction by letting Mark Wahlberg actually act instead of running around out of breath the whole time. Also Nicola Peltz is gone which is good. Laura Haddock, the latest hottie, is decent, as well as nice eye candy I suppose. Anthony Hopkins, for whatever goddamn reason, is in the movie as well, and he's great, but you can tell he doesn't give a shit.

I guess there's only one time this movie actually made me kinda happy and that's with Optimus Prime and Bumblebee's back to back fighting near the end, which kinda resembles some old-fasioned Transformers shit, but otherwise, nah...it's pretty fucking terrible. Not nearly as bad as Power Rangers, but bad. Also it's probably the best Transformers movie since the first one in 07, but still, that's not saying much. Why am I trying to defend this pile? 4.1/10 Get it out of my sight.